who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
