Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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