Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
