You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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