i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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