but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
