turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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