In the future we'll all be gay
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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