he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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