he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize