Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You ruined the universe
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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