Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize