I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
