She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
