Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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