i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
