i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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