i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
