if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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