If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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