and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
