Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
