You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
please come you make the beer taste better
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
