the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
