Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize