You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
