i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
