I want to stick my p in your. b.
...so i touched it.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
