just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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