my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
