Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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