Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
