well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
