she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize