did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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