i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
