Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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