OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
