Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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