she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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