Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
