Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my liver is dry heaving
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
