Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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