got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize