cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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