Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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