I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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