smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
