please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
