im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
