Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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