Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
