I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
