Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize