Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
