Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
