Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
foreskin is a definite game changer
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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