Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
