I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
