there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
