Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
